Today I want to chat about what fear means to me.
Fear can be positive and negative - just like stress, there is good stress and bad stress. Good fear can lead to growth, it can make you stronger, it can make you achieve things in life, it can give you clarity once you've broken through. And then there is bad fear, those flight of flight feelings you get where you suddenly feel like out running a lion, the fear that makes you question yourself, the fear when you feel something is not right, fear of the unknown. We all experience it on the daily.
After having cancer - the biggest fear Ive had to face in my life (twice now). Ive become more and more curious and focused on my fears. Every-time I am faced with fear I am always asking myself what is scary? why do I have feelings of threat? Ive started to really question my perception during fearful times. I've always been a damsel in distress kind of gal. Once, I opened my car door onto another car door (softly) and then apologised to the car?...Seriously! thats just to give you an example of how scared I was of rocking the boat.
I feel I am getting better at this, its a working progress and although I wont be apologising to car doors any time soon I am still working on what things in life are worthy of my energy. What things should and shouldn't scare me. Not caring so much about what people think or how they will feel if I decline an invite to that birthday invite. Life has shown me how short and precious it really is. We fear things that have been ingrained in us to be feared. Some are too fearful about speaking up during a meeting or class incase they sound silly, or some people fear taking time for them self over social events, some fear they wont be liked or fit in, some people fear they don't live up to the expectations set out by themselves and others. These are all emotional fears that bring on physical fear: sweaty palms, restlessness, sleepless nights, fight or flight. Eventually this can take a massive toll on the body and can really break us down.
Through lots of reading and self reflecting I am learning this. Being fearless and not scared of anything doesn't mean you are brave. Standing up to your fear and looking it in the eye, understanding it, knowing why its here and working through it is brave. We try to shut fear down but really we need to bring it forth and get comfortable with it to the point where it becomes a strength of your own. It can turn into something powerful. Picking up the phone and making those cold calls could turn into you becoming great at business development for example, you can use fear to make you brave.
I am trying to turn my cancer diagnose into my strength. I am trying to understand why it is here with me again rather than stepping down and letting something other than my mind and body deal with it. I am trying to be comfortable with my dis-ease and use it as a tool to learn more about me and my body. I am trying to figure out my imbalances, what are my stressors, my blockages, what are the things in life I haven't dealt with properly. I am learning to reverse fear and going to use it as a tool to find out more about myself. It is self learning and once you start to perceive it in that way you become more resilient to these fears - you look at it through a different lens and tackle it better.
I hope this helps you if you're going through something scary or the unknown. Or if you have a hard time dealing with fear I hope you can learn to look at it differently.
See you next time